Journal (May-2005)

It was my boss, Loyal's bachelor party last Satuarday, May 28 and we went paintballing in the afternoon. It is my second time to play paintball, but it is not as fun as my first time because the fields are not as good.

During the paintball games, I usually love to stay at the back for backup. Maybe ones would say I am too conservative and never want to take risk. This time, our paintball team is very weak so I always got surrounded by many enemies at the end of each round. After a few rounds, I started to think about what I should do for the next round. Should I still stay at the back and waited to be surrounded? Or should I go to the front? Will I influence anything if I try to move forward?

It is a hard decision for me sometimes. In our lives, we always need to know how to position ourselves. For me, it is very important to know where I should stand in order for me to success. How should I position myself in a group of friends, in the family, in the office, etc? Specially, when I am in a bad team, group, location, how I can position myself in order to get the most out of it. It is always a hard question for me to answer.

I start to think I am old after my birthday this year. There is not much time left before I have my own family and handle more responsiblities. I guess, it is time for me to think about how I should position myself in the sociality and I really need to treasure the following few years to learn more. Time is running out!!!!

I heard a lot of girls said: "Since all guys are bad...... We should always pick a good-looking guy as my boy-friend ....... At least, we would enjoy the handsomeness"

However ...... I heard ...... and I think ...... if you pick a handsome one, the chance for him to be "bad" or become "bad" is very very high..... but if you pick a good guy, you will always think he looks better and better once you know him more.

In my life, I have seem so many examples. Many of my female friends told me that their boy-friends or husbands look better and better. So, for me, inside is more important than outside